Timeless London ＃1 Karsan Haval
- wenduycl
- 7月15日
- 讀畢需時 11 分鐘
已更新：7月16日
我們不要被出身定義自己
時：2025年5月5日，下午兩時
地：英國倫敦霍本
人：Karsan Haval
跟Karsan Haval (Instagram: @karsanhaval.pdf)相識，是因為我們曾經同在一間很有意思的店鋪工作。我覺得他為人相當感性，亦很懂得照顧別人感受。在我眼中，他一直是個藝術家和Londoner，他彷彿知道所有在倫敦生活的潛規則，而極難得的是他會告訴你、和你分享。英國人很含蓄，很多事都不會點明，只望你能心神領會。我自問沒法玩好這個遊戲，所以遇到像Karsan這樣誠實又體貼的人，我特別珍惜。我很好奇他一路走來的故事，就邀請他成為這個寫作計劃的第一位嘉賓。
你從哪裡來？為什麼會在倫敦生活？
我在庫爾斯坦（Kurdistan）出生，三歲時移民倫敦。我通常都會說我從倫敦來，因為我自小受的教育、我生活的環境都在倫敦，我喜歡這樣定義自己。我父母選擇了倫敦，是因為他們認為在這裡，我們可以有更好的生活。倫敦是我的家，我迷戀這個地方。
你目前在做甚麼? 你有甚麼想追求的事?
我是一位3D藝術家 ── 我以前不會這樣介紹自己，但現在我做著相關的工作，我很自豪終於可以這樣形容自己。我的追求是希望可以繼續以做3D藝術為生，而且不斷找到工作。最終的理想，大概是可以製作一部3D短片吧。
為什麼最初會愛上3D藝術？
我父親是一名木匠，我大學時也是讀商品及傢俱設計，從沒有想過在這方面發展。我不太喜歡用手製作東西，自知長處不在那裡，但卻很擅長Ideas和Concepts。在大學，我最喜歡的功課是短片和動畫，這是我真正熱情所在。3D藝術我完全是自學的，Lockdown的時候，我開始在網上看短片學習怎樣做3D設計，我當時充滿了熱誠，每一天都在學習新的技術，像無法停下一樣。就算沒有經驗，仍想把所有力量放進去這件事上面，我想就是真的喜歡吧。
你此時此刻的狀態是……？
此時此刻的我，差不多到了瓶頸：我的技術沒錯是好了好多，但我困惑「還可以怎樣進步呢？」現在的我如果要學新的知識，大概要找專業人士請教，或者需要花很長時間去只學一種很專門的技術；我很想念剛開始學習3D那個時候，因為當時的動機很純粹，而且因為不懂而努力去學，到學到更把握到了那種喜悅，實在難以取代。那時的不斷持續學習和享受的心，充滿了好奇和熱誠，令我懷念。
創作路上總會遇到困難，你的是甚麼？
做藝術需要有Network，有Access，家庭背景較好的人，一路走來會容易得多。最重要的是，經濟上不用煩惱的話，生活通常都比較穩定，而穩定的生活培養出穩定的情緒，這對創作很重要。有時不是沒有創作的源頭和想法，只是沒有好的情緒和穩定的生活狀態，甚至只能維生不能生活。我並非優厚家庭出身，要比人努力更多，但我嘗試更謙虛一點，不想把自己想成是Victim，我們不要被出身定義自己。
你有嘗試跟其他3D藝術愛好者連結嗎？
主要在Instagram。以前的Instagram很不一樣，是個不錯的平台。雖然我當時的技術一點也不好，但也在上面認識了一些朋友。3D藝術本來就是一個很小的圈子，大家分享自己的作品亦互相友善地Follow互動。如果你去Art Fairs，就算來自世界不同角落，見到的來來去去都是那些人而已。有一次一個我非常敬重的藝術家follow了我的Instagram，我真的非常興奮，很有成就感。這個圈很小，但其實也頗溫暖的。
有沒有想過要離開倫敦？
完全沒有想過。我甚至無法忍受要離開倫敦。倫敦的生活太方便，藝術氛圍又濃厚，這是其他地方沒法做到的；而且倫敦的多元也是令我想大聲地講「我來自倫敦」的原因，在不夠多元的地方，作為有色人種，可能會有各種被凝視的不舒服，但倫敦令我有歸屬感：在這裡，我不需要常常想到自己的身份認同問題。我自小在這裡長大，一部分的我很明白本地人，但另一部分的我是沿自父母的國家，這兩個面向我都喜歡。
如果可以，你想……
如果有一個Button，一扭開，可以讓人完全集中精力，Laser focused一舨的狀態，不被當時的情緒和雜事影響，全速投入創作，保持著一鼓作氣這樣的狀態…… 就好了！這應該是每個做創作的人都希望擁有的能力吧。
回望過去，展望將來
剛才講的Button，其實在我最初做3D藝術的時候，的確無形地存在過。不過現在我的熱情應該會被「會不會得到相應的金錢回報」所阻礙吧，畢竟人是要生活的，但我時刻還是會提自己最重要是開心享受創作；對將來的期盼反而是世界性的，希望每個人都有多點Kindness。人在心情不好的時候，是很難有耐性以Kindness對待別人的，但如果人們被不好地對待，心情就會不好。你看，是個惡性循環，這造成了一個很困難的局面，就是愈來愈難選擇善待別人，但這正正是我們每個人都最需要的，就多一點點的善良而已。
明年今日的你會是如何？
一年後，我希望可以全職工作，不用再做自由工作者，又或者，做一個很忙碌的自由工作者，忙得想休息也要抽時間的那種；我也希望可以幫大公司做大項目，這樣會有一點安全感。我覺得一個人的精神狀態跟他的工作也很相關，當你做你喜歡做的事而被認可，同時財政壓力又可以減低，你也會覺得自己做的事是有趣和有意義，是重要的、會影響到些甚麼的。我希望我的藝術是有影響力的，是美的，是被尊重的。
跟Karsan聊天過後，他笑言像經歷了一次情緒治療，令他回想過往、想到未來，最重要是令他很想快點創作更多作品。而我，則覺得像上了一堂溝通技巧課，不是這次的訪問，我不會知道他這麼多這麼有趣的經歷，大家已是兩、三年朋友，我居然沒有想過可以這樣去了解他，實在是作為朋友之過；在倫敦生活的確不易，做藝術的人應該談論藝術本身，但我發現我們總是在談怎麼令藝術生活更Sustainable，可見倫敦藝術空間大，但競爭也相當大。希望Karsan如他所願，得到更多工作機會！
專欄簡介
用心生活的人都是值得欣賞的。在倫敦，我召集了十二位用心生活的人，他們有著不同的背景、職業、愛好、生活方式，但共通的是，他們對生活有著熱情的心。我一一訪問，紀錄他們當前狀態，希望一年後，這個小小的時間囊會成為他們檢視生活的美好回憶。
作者簡介
周綺婷，(Instagram: @iris_ychow) 香港出生長大。2018年獨自移居英國，從此在這裡生活。中文系畢業、博物館研究碩士。目前在倫敦某大型文化藝術中心工作，並以教廣東話作為點綴。兩屆青年文學獎得主，作品曾刊《字花》、《別字》等，著有專欄〈原來都走到這裡〉刊《大頭菜文藝月刊》。喜歡村上春樹、古典音樂、伯爵茶和鄰居的貓。
Timeless London
Date: 5 May 2025, 2:00 PM
Location: Holborn, London
Guest: Karsan Haval
I met Karsan Haval (Instagram: @karsanhaval.pdf) through a rather fascinating shop we once worked at together. To me, he’s always come across as a deeply sensitive person who’s thoughtful about how others feel. I’ve always seen him as both an artist and a true Londoner - someone who seems to intuitively understand the unspoken rules of living here, and more unusually, someone willing to actually share them with you. British people can be reserved; they often won’t spell things out, hoping instead you’ll just pick up on them. I’ve never been good at that game, so when I meet someone honest and considerate like Karsan, I really treasure it. I’ve always been curious about his journey, so I invited him to be the very first guest of this writing project.
Where are you from? And why are you living in London?
I was born in Kurdistan and moved to London when I was three. I usually say I’m from London, because this is where I grew up, where I was educated, and where I’ve lived most of my life. I like defining myself this way. My parents chose London because they believed we’d have a better life here. London is my home, and I’m in love with this city.
What are you doing at the moment? Is there something you’re striving for?
I’m a 3D artist - something I never used to call myself, but now that I actually do the work, I’m proud to say it. My goal is to keep making a living through 3D art and to always have new work coming in. Ideally, one day, I’d love to create a 3D short film.
What first drew you to 3D art?
My dad’s a carpenter, and I studied product and furniture design at university. I never thought I’d end up doing this. I’ve never liked making things by hand, I knew that wasn’t my strength. But I’m good with ideas and concepts. In university, my favourite assignments were always video and animation. That’s where my passion truly lies.
I’m completely self-taught in 3D art. During lockdown, I started watching tutorials online and learning how to do 3D design. I was obsessed! Every single day I was picking up new techniques, like I couldn’t stop. Even though I had no experience, I threw myself into it completely. Looking back, I think that means I really loved it.
How are you feeling, right now?
At this moment… I think I’m hitting a plateau. My skills have definitely improved a lot, but I’m confused about where to go next. To level up now, I probably need to learn from professionals or dedicate a lot of time to mastering one very specific technique. I miss that early phase of learning 3D, when my motivation was pure, when I didn’t know much so I worked hard to figure things out. That joy of finally understanding something after struggling with it - that’s hard to replace. I really miss that constant learning, that curiosity and fire I had at the beginning.
Every creative path comes with challenges. What’s yours?
Art requires access. You need a network. If you come from a good family background, the journey’s just easier. The biggest thing is that if you don’t have to worry about money, your life tends to be more stable, and emotional stability is key for creativity. Sometimes it’s not a lack of inspiration, it’s just that without emotional security or a stable life, you’re in survival mode. You can’t really live. I didn’t come from a privileged family, so I have to work harder. But I try to stay humble. I don’t want to see myself as a victim. I think we shouldn’t let our background define who we are.
Have you tried connecting with other 3D artists?
Mostly through Instagram. It used to be a very different platform, and quite a good one. Even when my skills were still basic, I met some cool people there. 3D art is a small community, people share their work and follow each other in a really friendly way. If you go to Art Fairs, even if people come from all over the world, you keep seeing the same faces. Once, an artist I really admire followed me back on Instagram - I was ecstatic! That kind of recognition felt amazing. It’s a small world, but a surprisingly warm one.
Have you ever thought of leaving London?
Never. I honestly can’t bear the thought of leaving. Life in London is just so convenient, and the artistic atmosphere is unmatched. There’s nowhere else quite like it. Also, it’s London’s diversity that makes me want to proudly say, “I’m from London.” In places that are less diverse, being a person of colour can feel uncomfortable, you’re always being watched or judged. But London gives me a sense of belonging. I don’t have to constantly think about my identity here. I grew up in this city, and a big part of me understands the local culture - but another part of me is rooted in my parents’ homeland. I love both sides.
If you could…?
If there were a button I could press to instantly be laser-focused - completely free from distraction, emotions, or everyday noise - and just create, uninterrupted, in a state of flow… that would be perfect. I think that’s something every creative person dreams of.
Looking back, looking forward
That imaginary button? It sort of did exist, back when I first started learning 3D art. But now, my passion is often clouded by worries: Will this pay off? We all need to survive, after all. Still, I constantly remind myself that enjoying the process is the most important part. As for the future, my hope is global: I just wish people could be kinder. When someone’s not in a good place emotionally, it’s hard to be patient or kind to others. But when people are treated unkindly, they get even more worn down. You see? It’s a vicious cycle. It’s becoming harder to choose kindness, but that’s exactly what we all need, just a little more kindness.
A year from now, where do you see yourself?
A year from now, I hope I’ll have a full-time job, no longer freelancing. Or if I’m still freelancing, I hope it’s because I’m so in demand I barely have time to rest. I’d love to work on big projects for big companies, it gives you a bit of security. I think your mental state is closely tied to your work. When you’re doing what you love and it’s recognised, and when money isn’t constantly a worry, you start to feel like what you’re doing actually matters. That it’s interesting, meaningful, and impactful. I want my art to be all of those things - respected, beautiful, and powerful.
After chatting with Karsan, he laughed and said it felt like going through emotional therapy: reflecting on the past, thinking about the future, and most of all, feeling eager to create more. For me, it felt like a masterclass in communication. If it weren’t for this interview, I wouldn’t have known so many of his stories. We’ve been friends for two or three years, and it never occurred to me to get to know him this deeply. That’s on me, as a friend.
Living in London isn’t easy. Artists should be talking about art - but we often end up talking about how to make an artistic life sustainable. It says a lot. There’s space here for art, sure, but competition is fierce. I hope Karsan gets all the opportunities he hopes for.
(Originally written in Traditional Chinese.)
About This Column
People who live mindfully are always worth appreciating. In London, I gathered twelve individuals who each live with intention. They come from different backgrounds, careers, interests, and lifestyles, but they all share a passion for life. I sat down with each of them to capture a snapshot of where they are right now. A year from now, I hope this little time capsule brings them warm memories as they reflect on how far they’ve come.
About the Author
Iris Yee-Ting Chow, (Instagram: @iris_ychow) born and raised in Hong Kong. Moved to the UK alone in 2018 and has been here ever since. Holds a degree in Chinese Language and Literature and a master’s in Art Museum and Gallery Studies. Currently works at a major art and culture centre in London and moonlights as a Cantonese tutor. Twice awarded the Hong Kong Youth Literature Award. Work has appeared in Fleurs des Lettres and Typo. Writes the column So This Is Where I’ve Come To for The Turnip Arts Journal. A lover of Haruki Murakami, classical music, Earl Grey tea, and the neighbour’s cat.
